2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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