i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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