I'm drive I can fine osifer
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
