I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
