Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I met the friendliest cop last night
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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