He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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