Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
