Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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