Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize
