but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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