I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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