you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
