Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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