Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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