I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
