i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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