yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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