she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
