Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize