whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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