Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
so much tequila, so little girl.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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