Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
