you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize