I accidentally had phone sex last night
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
