But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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