I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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