I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
