just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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