did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
