okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
