none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
