Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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