i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
