just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
