marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize