: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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