I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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