Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize