How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
