I just made out with a guy for $7.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
