hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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