Well apparently he's into motor boating.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
