Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize