I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
