I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I look better un-naked...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
