i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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