i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
