do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
