I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
