i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
