Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Say something about gay babies.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
