But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Randomize
