this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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