I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
