A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize