AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
