So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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